Show interest in the other individual. I Can’t Stop Watching TikTok Tarot Card Pulls, What You Really Need To Know About COVID-19 & Mouthwash, How To Take A Relationship Break & Not Have It End In Disaster. Why can I make people laugh but cannot make friends? And along with that, so do our friendships. Stability is an important marker of a healthy friendship. Is that knowledge that comes with experience? PLoS ONE 11(3): e0151588. The problem is that in the past I only reached a certain level of emotional intimacy with friends due to my anxious, shy adolescence. So go slowly with these new friends. It’s also important to realize that many friendly, outgoing people weren’t born that way. I’m incredibly social and love meeting new people, but recently, I realized something about myself: I'm not good at having close friends. It can be hard if you don’t make friends easily, but by accepting who you are you can build a social life that you enjoy. There is a middle road between being a charmer and a depressive. Don't be hard on yourself. As a 30-something female with few close friends, social anxiety, and a plethora of other embarrassing personal issues, I keep people at arms length yet long for close friendships within my peer group. Asking a question like this is a good idea, because it will ensure that they say something back to you. I agreed with every thing you said until you said that word. But who do we turn to when the issue is our friends? This kind of openness is not only the starting point for challenging the misconceptions we have about our friendships — it’s essential for being able to develop close, authentic connections and maintain healthy relationships. Good friendships at their most rewarding will evolve and involve differences, disagreements and being accepted with all faults. We’re also not giving ourselves the chance to put our ideas about friendship to the test and realize that they might not be entirely accurate... Common Misconceptions and Truths About Adult Friendships. Invitations turned down. It is such a judgmental word. Available for everyone, funded by readers. Introverts can still be social and charming, just in a different way. I have not allowed any other female into that intimate space ever again. Of course, unending conflict is another story, but experiencing ups and downs does not mean we are a bad friend or that we have done something wrong (nor does it necessarily mean that our friend is or has). It’s often part of a normal, close friendship. Thank you. This doesn’t necessarily mean opening up to a friend or sharing one’s struggles publicly. Maybe, in finding the right people, I'll be able to open up and share that same closeness I've come to experience with my boyfriend. I really struggle keeping friends and I don't know why. Don't worry about it and be you. So, why can I have this connection with him, but no one else? In other friendships, one person is using the other for attention, popularity, or money. You are not someone who gets too close to anyone who exhibits red flags early on. After some reflection, I think it's probably unfair to build a friendship that way, with one-sided trust and a lack of shared intimacy.